


The Falling

by AvoidingAverage



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: ACOWAR, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Mates, Mutual Pining, Nessian - Freeform, Romantic Angst, Violence, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 04:39:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13263876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvoidingAverage/pseuds/AvoidingAverage
Summary: One-Shot of the final battle against Hybern in ACOWAR from Nesta's perspective.  Lots of Nessian and a happy ending.





	The Falling

All around me the world was bathed in blood. The sounds of the dead and dying were drowned out by the screams of rage and triumph by their comrades. By their enemies. The smell was overwhelming and I fought to control my urge to vomit. To run and run and never come back to this godsforsaken place.

Instead, I continued to move. Continued to follow my youngest sister as we responded to that horrible, ancient power that had ruined our lives. 

The Cauldron’s magic reached for my mind as though sensing my intentions. It sought the piece of itself that I’d ripped away even as it took my humanity. Part of me knew that it would take my soul with it if I came too close again. No matter how far away I ran from it, it remained tied to my mind, bonded permanently in a mockery of a mare bond.

I forced myself to focus on the people that mattered to me, on Elain and Feyre. Part of me knew that my life was no longer centered on protecting my fragile younger sister anymore. That in the horror of the Cauldron I was reborn into a new family—one that would protect and fight for me in ways that my father never could. That these immortal creatures were only pretending to accept the frozen walls I kept around my heart even as they slowly chipped away at the ice.

Suddenly, I felt the magic in me rise to a screeching crescendo—a horrifying indication of what Hybern was doing in the midst of battle, even as his men fell by the hundreds to the monsters Rhysand had unleashed in their midst.

The world went dark for a moment and I felt my knees slam into the dirt as I doubled over, retching at the awful, oily sensation that invaded my being. I felt the magic continue to grow as Hybern called on the Cauldron’s power, channeled it into a bolt that would destroy anything in its path.

Instinctively, I through my head up searching the skies for the male that I had been pretending to ignore as he hacked his way through the battlefield. At the edges of my vision, I saw Rhys’ dark power seeping out of him, attempting to shield his forces against the unholy wrath of Hybern’s attack. Even the spymaster’s blue siphons flashed in the afternoon sunlight as he summoned his own shield.

But Cassian was too far away…too close to Hybern to escape.

A scream ripped out of my throat even as I began to run towards those familiar wings, still locked in battle above us, “CASSIAN!”

Strong hands grabbed for me but I ripped myself away, still screaming for him. My hands stretched up towards him, wishing for the first time that I knew the magic that could help him, that could save him. As if he would be able to escape if I could just reach him, if he could just hear me.

Too late, a small, hated voice in my head whispered. I was going to be too late.

The magic surged again and combined with the despair in my heart, making it difficult to breathe. Difficult to do anything but call his name over and over again until my voice began to crack under the strain.

My eyes remained locked on him as he spun, as though sensing my panic for the first time. His dark hair streamed behind him as he brought his wings in close, diving with breakneck speed down to the earth. Red siphons the color of the roses Elain had once tenderly cultivated glowed as he called on his power. 

Then my mind seemed to burst into a blaze of white light and power as Hybern released the trap he had so cleverly maneuvered our armies into. The rocky terrain became the basin for the Cauldron’s power to flood and burn away all traces of the proud Illyrians who’d once stood against it.

I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe as the nightmares that had haunted me were washed away in the terrible silence left in the wake of Hybern’s blow. As those nightmares were replaced by the realization that the Illyrian legions were gone, evaporated into the dark ash that floated down from the skies like rain.

Terror and agony fought for control but I refused to acknowledge them—not until Cassian was safe. He hovered in the air far above us, looking lost and alone. The last Illyrian left in a legion of hundreds.

I felt him summon that dreadful magic again and the pain brought me back to the ground, where I stayed curled on my side. My body seized and shuddered, trying to process the power the Cauldron was summoning and the death it wrought on the soldiers on both sides. 

The next thing I could comprehend in my broken mind was the heavy shudder of the earth as Cassian landed hard beside me. Warm, strong arms lifted me gently even as green-flecked hazel looked me over worriedly—as though I’d been the one in danger.

“What is it?” he panted, “What—“

Still breathing heavily, I tried to ignore how good it felt to touch him. How right. “It’s gone quiet again,” I whispered and I closed my eyes against the sorrow in his. Gently, I let my head fall into the space between his shoulders and neck, content to just breathe him in for a moment.

Rhys’ cold voice snapped at his friend, “Get back out there, commander.” Gone was the male who looked at my sister as though she held his heart in her hands.

Cassian growled, but it was Azriel’s soft voice that responded, “I’m going in.”  
Closing my eyes, I listened distantly to the argument between the powerful males. My body felt like I’d been running for hours, like I’d been beaten until each of my muscles and ligaments wanted to tear apart.

Guiltily I realized that Amren was holding Elain as she vomited into the grass nearby. I should be there with her, but I couldn’t summon the strength to move away from Cassian just yet.

I felt the fear as an armada appeared off the coast, saw the terror and guilt on Rhysand’s face as he watched Azriel launch himself into the sky to assist on the southern flank. But it was nothing compared to the gut-wrenching horror as Cassian stood once more. Ready to face an army he knew he couldn’t defeat.

Silently, Cassian settled me onto my feet, his hands lingering for a moment against my clammy skin. My eyes begged in a way that I knew my mouth never would, pleading for him to remain where he was safe. But I knew he would never turn his back on his friends, on his family. In that, we were the same.

Cassian gave me a soft smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll see you on the other side,” he said to all of us, but his hazel eyes never left mine.

Even the sight of the infamous legion of Seraphim wasn’t enough to calm the fears that continued to choke me. It wasn’t enough. They would never be able to defeat Hybern so long as he wielded the Cauldron’s might. 

It was a strange thing to know that in the end my father would stand with us against these immortal armies. That he had brought the armies of the human queen Vassa and returned to fight for the daughters and land that had rejected him. Part of me felt guilty at the distaste I still held for my father’s weakness, but I knew that this unexpected gift may just balance the years of anger and apathy.

The warm breeze that brought my father’s ships closer made the tears that silently dripped down my cheeks cool slightly. Cassian leaned slightly against me, in silent support—knowing that I would never allow him to openly acknowledge this moment of weakness. My father had come for us, traveling on a ship named—of all things—after the daughter who’d never given him the sympathy he’d deserved.

My eyes remained fixed on those ships as the glorious firebird rained fire down on the ships foolish enough to stand against her. I wished I could wreak havoc on Hybern’s forces like that. Wished I could uphold the silent promise to Hybern I’d made when I’d pulled myself out of that cursed Cauldron.

A wild thought came to my mind then.

“Use me,” I blurted to Feyre and the rest of the group. “As bait. I can draw Hybern’s attention away while you get closer.”  
Cassian stiffened behind me, a refusal no doubt coming to his lips. Clearly he believed he was the only one prepared to risk their life today. “No,” he said hoarsely.

Ignoring him, I continued, “You stand no chance against the king if he remains next to the Cauldron. I can draw him away. He’ll come for me.”

I wasn’t sure where my certainty in that had come from but I could feel the truth in my words. That if I touched the chains that continued to bind me to the Cauldron that it would respond to my call.

Cassian spun me to face him, his hands wrapping around my arms as if he could hold me there. “He’ll kill you,” he snarled, desperation in his eyes.

I summoned every bit of icy anger that had been my shield since the day my mother had drawn her last breath and firmly pulled my arms from his grasp. “Not if you kill him first,” I said, even as my heart broke into tiny pieces.

Hybern would come for me and I knew that Cassian would fight until his dying breath to keep from him. And I knew that it would still not be enough to kill the king of Hybern. All we could was hope that without Cauldron, one of the others could strike the final blow.

I saw the understanding in his eyes even as Rhysand tried to argue against this crazy plan I’d created. We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment longer before Cassian returned his attention to his High Lord, “It’s the only way to get Hybern away from the Cauldron. To give Feyre a chance.”

My heart thundered in my ears, drowning out the argument between Cassian and Rhysand. This was it. This was the moment that would decide if we could bring this battle to a halt before more lives were lost.

“Do you have everything you need?” Cassian asked, forcing me out of my reverie.

My mouth was dry from fear and anticipation so I just nodded. Mentally, I went through the lessons Amren had managed to pound into me at the Night Court. I prayed that it would be enough to summon Hybern to me.

I looked over to where Elain sat beside Amren, staring into space without expression. Quietly I murmured to Feyre, “Take care of her.”

My youngest sister nodded jerkily and I wished that I had been strong enough to love her as fiercely as I did Elain. I wished that she’d needed me all those years ago.

Cassian held out his arms to me, but I paused. Nodding my head to the ocean, I ignored my stinging eyes and whispered, “Tell Father…tell him I said thank you.”  
I wrapped my arms around Cassian and he launched us into the air, those magnificent wings easily lifting us and over the battlefield. Tears threatened to spill again so I buried my head against his armor, trusting him to land us somewhere safely. He didn’t speak as we flew, lost in his own thoughts.

Cassian chose a secluded clearing on the edge of the craggy cliffs that led to the ocean. It was far enough away from the battle that the sounds finally dimmed to a manageable level. Turning my back on it, I walked to the edge staring out at the ship that bore my name and the chaos of the naval battle.

I felt him move beside me and for a moment we stood in silence, trying to find the right words to say. Trying to find a way to say good bye.

Cassian finally spoke, “Nesta, I…”

“We need to hurry,” I said over him, hating myself for it. I wasn’t strong enough to hear him finally acknowledge the growing…whatever it was between. I wasn’t strong enough to admit to myself that I cared far more for this overgrown bat than I’d ever allowed myself to feel for a male. That I would give anything to spend just one more day with him.

The Illyrian slowly closed his mouth and nodded, lips pressed into a firm line.

My blood felt like it was boiling under my skin and I was barely able to retain my control, my sense self against it. The Cauldron seemed to sense my plans. Sense that I was going to call to it finally.

It came to me in a wave of ancient magic, moving against my mind like a sentient being. Distantly, I heard Cassian call my name in alarm as my eyes rolled back in my head as I began to draw on the great and terrible power. 

Come, I called to the darkness, come to me.

It came for me like a shark scenting the blood of a wounded animal. Streaming over the battlefield and slamming with an icy wave of power. It felt as though the power of the grave itself sank into my bones, causing me to shiver in agony and cold.

At last, it whispered, we missed you so.

Gritting my teeth, I hissed back, When I’m finished with Hybern, I’m going to melt you down and let the soldiers line their latrines with you.

The power surged within me and I felt myself begin to drown in the ancient magic. It filled me, overflowing until it was struggle to breathe, to keep from bursting into a million piece of jagged pain. Screaming in fury and anguish, I tried to force it back. Force it to acknowledge the piece of its magic that I carried in my newly remade soul.

Instinctively I reached for something, anything to anchor me to the earth. Suddenly he was there with me, his warm body wrapped around me and his massive wings forming a curtain of night between us and the rest of the world.

“Stay with me, baby. I’ve got you,” he murmured roughly while stroking callused fingers over my arms. “When we get out of this, I’m going to lock you in my room for a week. You’re stuck with me now, little human, whether you like it or not.”

The thought made me smile and somehow gave me the strength to pull away from the Cauldron again—until I was Nesta again. I opened my eyes and blinked up at him, “Do you really think I’d let you lock me away like that, you overgrown bat?”

Cassian blinked before a relieved smile broke out across his face—stunning me for a moment. “I never said I’d ask your permission,” he purred.

Before I could respond, he was leaning forward, his lips a brand against my own. I gasped against his mouth and pressed closer, fighting him for control of the kiss—claiming him. My fingers threaded themselves into the silky strands of his hair and he groaned when I fisted my hands against his neck.

He pulled away far too quickly and we stared at eachother in stunned silence. Cassian eyed my kiss-swollen mouth, “I should have done that the first time I saw you,” he whispered jaggedly.

I smiled half-heartedly, trying to subtly catch my breath, “I’d have gutted you where you stood.”

“Worth it.”

“You—“ my words were cut off as a malevolent force streaked through the sky towards us. Hybern had finally felt my power. “Get ready,” I said, eyes to the sky, “He’s coming.”

Scrambling to my feet, I took the long knife Cassian silently passed me before he moved protectively in front of me—all traces of that smiling warrior wiped away. I knew the knife was just a symbol, that he couldn’t understand the depth of the power that continued to weave itself through my being. I clutched at the knife anyway, feeling comfort at the worn handle of the weapon Cassian had clearly loved.

If Cassian was able to hold Hybern for just a moment, force his guard for just a second, I could release this terrible power on the being that had brought this devastation to Prythian.

Hybern seemed to appear out an inky darkness that was mockery of the midnight magic of the Night Court. At the sight of him, I reached for a power that suddenly guttered in my chest, leaving us defenseless before the king of Hybern.

No, I thought in despair, scrambling for the shreds of power as they slipped out of my grasp. NO!

Looking up at the being I hated most in this world, I felt a moment of stunned confusion when I met the achingly familiar eyes of my father instead. No…it can’t be. It can’t be.

Hybern pressed a blade against his throat and I felt a rage that seemed to squeeze the very breath my lungs as I realized what he’d done. He knew what I intended to do in this barren clearing. He had chosen the one thing that would make me hesitate to kill him—a human shield.

My father swallowed hard, his throat twitching against the cold iron, “Nesta…” he breathed with a soft resignation and a love that made me tremble. His eyes took in the changes that the Cauldron had made in me. Took them in with a soft smile that told me it changed nothing.

“When I saw who had come to your rescue, dear Nesta, I just had to reunite you with your father…one last time,” Hybern said with a smirk that made red dance across my vision.

Part of me was waiting for Cassian to make his move still, as though he could somehow make this right. Save him, I begged silently, help him.

Ignoring Hybern, Father seemed to lean toward me, sincerity in each word, “I loved you from the moment your mother handed you to me the first time. The first time you opened your eyes to look up at me…” He glanced at Hybern then his eyes locked on mine, “Nesta—my Nesta. I am so sorry for all that I did to disappoint you. I’m am so sorry…”

“Please,” the word seemed to rip out of my chest on a ragged sob, “Please. Don’t.”

“What will you give in return for your father’s life, Nesta Archeron? You already owe me for so much…”Hybern purred. Cassian’s hands tightened on his weapons but I ignored the tension I could feel radiating from him.

“Anything.” I whispered.

Hybern tilted his head to the side like cat sizing up its prey. My father began to struggle in distress, “No, Nesta, don’t!” he cried, but I ignored him.

“I’ll give you back what I stole,” I said, my voice shockingly calm.

“I don’t believe you,” Hybern said in a cold voice. There was a moment of silence before Hybern moved in a blur of motion so fast that I only stared at the empty space where my father’s head had just been. Only stared as hot blood hit the edge of my dress and a lump of flesh and blood and hair rolled to a stop in front of me.

In a mockery of luck, his eyes stared up at me with the same blue shade that I looked at in the mirror. Still looking at me with love, even as the light slowly dimmed and went out.

A terrible numbness swept over me and I watched as Cassian leapt forward with a roar of rage that seemed to shake the leaves in the scraggly trees clinging to the cliff. His magic flew towards Hybern and they met in a clash steel and fury. Distantly, I knew that without the magic of the Cauldron, my father would not be the last man I loved to die here today.

Cassian moved like lightening, dodging and blocking the attacks of the older king and pushing him away from the collapsed body of my father. I knew he was trying to give me a chance to run, give me a chance to live even though I’d failed him. Failed both of them. But where could I run? Where could I run to escape the blood and death of this day?

There was nothing left for me to do but die here.

Kneeling, I gently closed the eyes of my father and pulled off my cloak to provide a makeshift shroud for his body. I wouldn’t need it any longer.

I felt my final tie to the human I’d once been break away in a burst of red. Power came rushing forward and I let it. Let it wipe out every trace of my pain and hurt, my fears and anxiety. 

When I stood, I was no longer Nesta Archeron. I was Death.

My body felt foreign to me as I looked at Hybern, at the man I would kill. A gasp of pain had me moving before I could register what was before me.

Cassian lay bleeding on his back. His glorious wings broken once more and I felt that cold darkness seep deeper into my soul. A bone pierced through the muscle of his thigh and I saw in his eyes that he knew he was dying. That he hadn’t managed to kill Hybern and save his family.

His hazel eyes widened as he saw me walk forward on silent feet. For a moment, we were back in the hall of the king and Cassian was struggling to drag his broken body forward. Still trying to save me.

Ruthlessly, Hybern raised a hand, fixated on his prey. A scream of agony was ripped out of Cassian’s throat as his back arched in an unnatural bow. I heard a bone snap somewhere and the power in me rippled in response.

“Stop.” The word shot through the clearing like an arrow and I saw Hybern start at the power in it.

Cassian gasped, “Nesta…” His hands scrambled for the strength to move to my side as Hybern directed his full attention toward me. I stared at him, feeling as though another person looked down at him, assessing the wounds on his body. Making note of one more thing Hybern would suffer for.

Shifting my gaze to the king, I saw the moment he realized what he’d summoned in me. Saw the moment he realized that he had created the monster that would destroy him.

Tilting my head slightly, I felt my mouth slowly curl into a smile that bared every one of the pointy teeth he’d given me when he’d tossed me into the Cauldron. Let him look upon the power I’d dragged back out of it.

“I am going to kill you,” I said gently and watched as the king of Hybern paled. Cassian went still on the ground.

The Cauldron seemed to settle in beside me like a dog with its owner. We waited for our prey to move, waited for him to try to flee.

Hybern licked his lips and tried for a cocky smile, “You can’t kill me, Nesta. You don’t have the power.” 

He lifted his boot and brought it slamming down onto Cassian’s wing, hard enough to snap another bone. I became magic and power and death to the tune of Cassian’s agonized bellow of pain. 

Hybern winnowed away before my first blow could land and I watched the magic shear through the ranks of Hybern’s soldiers in the field below. The size of the blow winded me and I felt my hold on the magic waver slightly. Hybern appeared again, closer this time and we watched each other warily.

“Consider what you could become Nesta,” he murmured, lust in his eyes. “I am the only one capable of training you to use your power—of honing it into something great.” 

“Go,” Cassian pleaded. “Go.” He continued to drag his mangled body towards me, a trail of dark blood staining the earth behind him.

Hybern laughed, “You’d think he would have learned his lesson by now. I think this time I’ll rip the wings from his spine before I kill him.”

Rushing forward, I felt part of myself return at the sight of Cassian’s pain. Kneeling on the ground beside him, I cupped his cheek in my hand and brushed a kiss across his lips.

“I will not run,” I whispered to him. Then I let my hand wrap around the hilt of his Illyrian blade.

Before Cassian could react, I whirled to face Hybern, planting myself protectively in front of the injured male on the ground. Hybern threw back his head and laughed, “You must be truly desperate to think you could stand a chance against me, girl.”  
I just stared at him, too tired to speak. It was lucky I hadn’t risen to his bait because he was on me in seconds and I barely managed to block his swing. The impact made my teeth rattle in my skull but I stood firm, refusing to let him any closer to Cassian. Lurching forward, I managed a blow that he easily blocked and struck again. I retreated trying to entice him away from Cassian.

With a sigh, the king moved and I watched in horror as my sword was ripped from my useless fingers. His fist slammed into my cheek and I hit the guard hard, barely managing to roll to my knees. My head throbbed but I forced myself to get to my knees. Forced myself to ignore the agonized cry Cassian made as Hybern stalked closer.

The ancient fae looked down at me with a cruel smile, “I will enjoy breaking you, I think.”

I snarled wordlessly and he grabbed me by my hair, yanking me closer. “I will make you beg for—“ His threat was cut off as I slammed my palm against his chest, sending the last of my power streaking into him. His body went flying through the trees, slamming into a thick trunk.

The Cauldron presence seemed to ebb into mist within me and I spun, running to Cassian. Grabbing his arm, I kept an eye on the woods, “Get up. You have to get up,” I tugged on him with the last of my strength. “Please…we have to leave. He’s coming.” Urgency laced my words and I wished that I was strong enough to carry him like he had me.

Cassian shook his dark head, “You know I can’t. You have to go, Nesta.” 

His beautiful, stupid, stubborn eyes looked up and me and I growled furiously, “You can’t just give up, you idiot!”

At the edge of the trees, I watched in horror as Hybern stood and dusted himself off. A knowing smile on his face.

“Go,” Cassian whispered, tracing a shaking finger across my jaw, “please…”

Hybern picked up his sword at the edge of the clearing and cleaned it on the cloak I’d left over my father’s body. Preparing himself for the slaughter.

I ignored him, looking into the eyes of the male that had somehow wormed his way into my heart, “I can’t.” My voice was raw and I saw a tear land on his cheek, “I can’t leave you.”

With a hiss of pain, he lifted his battered arms up to cup my face and I pressed closer to him, hearing the footsteps come closer. Cassian refused to look away, “My only regret,” he whispered with a voice that shook, “is that we did not have time. That I did not have more time with you, Nesta.”

I sobbed as he pulled me toward him for a kiss that held the pieces of my heart together. A kiss that promised the world and the life of this male. “I will find you in the next life, my love,” he said against my lips, “And I will love you until the last breath leaves my body.”

The edge of Hybern’s boots came into the corner of my vision and I felt the dark magic he summoned to him in preparation for a final attack. Lurching forward, I wrapped my arms around Cassian, letting my body cover his. “Together,” I whispered, tears clouding my vision.

“Together,” he said and held me close.

“Too bad,” Hybern crooned mockingly, ”You weren’t able to save anyone after all—“ His words cut off with a wet gasping sound and I looked up to see a dark blade protrude from his neck. He scrabbled for the blade instinctively even as his legs gave out beneath him and he sank to the ground.

Cassian and I stared up in shock at the snarling face of Elain, “Don’t touch my sister.” 

Hope flared in me and I leapt forward, leaning over Hybern’s twitching body as he struggled to remove the blade. My boot came down hard on his forearm, snapping the bone instantly. His body arched in pain and I smiled, crouching beside him, “That was for Cassian.”

Grabbing the hilt of the blade, I began to slowly twist it, angling the edge so it began to cut through muscle and bone until in came free with a sick squelching sound. “That,” I said with relish, “was for me.”

I kicked his head hard enough that it sailed off the cliff edge into the ocean below, “And that was for our father,” I spat.

 

Hours later, Cassian and I lay on separate cots in the private tent that Rhysand had provided while the healers saw to our injuries. When they’d come to retrieve us from the clearing where we’d made our final stand, Cassian had finally slipped into unconsciousness with his head cradled in my lap. By the time the healers had arrived, I’d been so furious with worry that Feyre had finally snapped at me to get out of their way. 

I’d followed them back to camp; watched as they’d stitched and sewed and healed the worst of his injuries with magic. Then I watched as the grimly focused fae left the tent to tend to the rest of the wounded. Elain had stopped by for a moment to tell me that Azriel was also recovering nearby before going to check on the others. Besides a devastating headache and weariness that seemed to seep into my very soul, I’d gotten off with relatively few injuries.

Cassian, however…he was a mass of bandages and a carefully arranged frame that allow his wings to rest without further damage. He lay on his stomach with his face turned to face me, sleeping quietly.

I studied him, glad that he wasn’t awake to catch me doing so. I was unsure, not for the first time, how to handle the warrior male. What we’d said to each other on the battlefield was not generally followed by a long life together. Did he mean what he said?

It was easier to worry over the future I may or may not have with Cassian than think about the lost expression on Feyre and Elain’s faces as they grieved beside Father’s body. Easier not to think about anything really.

The numbness that shrouded my thoughts did nothing to help me sleep. Each time I closed my eyes, I saw my father looking at me with love in his eyes. Saw Hybern as he snapped another bone in Cassian’s battered body. Heard him scream for me as the magic of the Cauldron swept me away.

No, it was better to lay here and watch him sleep. Content myself in the knowledge that, at least for now, we were safe.

But what would happen when he woke up? Would he expect some kind of relationship? Was I even capable of a relationship?

“Stop thinking so much,” a deep voice rumbled from beside me, startling me out of my reverie.

I reached for the irritation that had shaped our interactions up to this point but couldn’t summon the energy so I remained silent. 

One sleepy hazel eye open and looked me over before concern flashed across his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked. Instinctively, he looked around the room checking for threats.

I shrugged, nibbling at my bottom lip as I tried to summon one of the little quips that came so naturally to me when faced with Cassian.

Frowning, he just stared at me until I finally blurted, “I don’t know how to do this…”

“Do what?”

“This,” I gestured to both of us, “I don’t know how to go forward after…” My voice faltered and I had to swallow, “everything that happened out there.”

Cassian was silent for a beat, ”Are you more worried about Hybern or what you said to me?”

Lurching to my feet with a burst of nervous energy, I poured him a glass of water from a nearby cart. I stared into the cup for a long moment before whispering, “Hybern is dead.”

A dry chuckle rumbled out of his chest, “And we are not.”

Silently, I began to slice up the bread and cheese that was laid out for us in order to keep myself busy. When did I become so crazy? When had any male caused my to feel this nervous and excited? 

“Nesta…” he whispered, “don’t run away.”

Without turning toward him, I asked briskly, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“Did you mean what you said?” I pressed, “About regrets…”

He growled, “Every damn word.”

A smile stretched across my face, startling me. I didn’t think I’d be able to smile again. His voice was softer this time, hesitant, “Did you?”

“Yes.” The word rang with truth and I felt a happiness and peace I’d never known sing through my soul.

Then like a blazing fire against the night sky, I felt our bond settle into place like it had been there forever. My breath rushed out of my in wonder as I felt the beautiful, courageous warrior that I loved sweep into my soul. Healing the broken pieces left behind by today and so many others. I braced myself against the food cart. Mate. Cassian was my mate.

Cassian made a shocked sound behind me and I turned to face him when I heard he moving on his cot. He struggled to get his arms under his chest so he could lift himself off the bed, sweat already beading across his brow.

“Stop that!” I cried, moving forward.

“Then get over here, woman,” he rasped. His eyes were wet and he stared at me as though I was his salvation. His whole world.

I was there between one heartbeat and the next, pressing against him as he managed to wrap one arm around me.

“You’re my mate,” he breathed, voice full of painfully bright happiness. “We almost died today and you’re my mate.”

I gave a wobbly laugh, “I don’t know how to be someone’s mate…”

Cassian pulled back so he could run his finger over my jaw then trace the bridge of my nose. “You have a choice,” he said finally, “You can choose to reject the bond and remain as you were before.”

“And if I choose to say yes?” I whispered.

He smiled lightly, “There’s no going back. Usually females serve their mates a meal to signify their acceptance and once they do, they remain mated until the day they die…” he hesitated, “I understand if you want to take time to think about it.”

Silently, I pulled away from him and stood. Cassian watched me without speaking, his bruised arms falling to the bedside and his eyes filled with painful hope. I pulled the tray of bread and cheese off the table and knelt beside his bed.

“Hungry?” I whispered with a smile.


End file.
